Which one are you?

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Today was such an incredible day… and I feel like it’s only just begun. 

I woke up today feeling…ummm…loved. Just loved. Incredibly, beautifully LOVED. There is no better word than that. I woke up with two certain people going through my mind. I met these two people in India, when I went on a mission trip there, 3 years ago.

The first one was David. David was the pastor’s son. He was cute, loved and really privileged in comparison to some other children. Pastor Thomas (David’s dad), loved him so much. He would love just watching him be a typical kid. Running around, not a care in the world. Pastor Thomas loved the fact that his son felt free to be himself and ask for anything he wanted.

The second person that came in to my mind was Suresh. Suresh was an orphan who lived in the orphanage that I was serving during my time there. Suresh was a beautiful boy, 8 years old and although he was sweet, he was street smart. Because he had to be. Suresh lived comfortably in the orphanage. He had all the necessities… a bed, the chance to go to school, books for school, food and his hygiene needs were covered. 

So…with these two boys running through my mind, I couldn’t help but notice the difference between them. David was loved…genuinely. It wasn’t just about what he was given. He was truly loved because he was connected by blood. Having David live under the same roof as Pastor Thomas was a given. That was never in question, it was always going to be the case. But Suresh lived in another house. With hired carers to look after him and the others with him. He is not connected by blood to his carers and so their love only goes so far.

Then I felt God’s Spirit stir up in me… something painful but nourishing all at the same time. He showered me with HEAVY love, I felt completely surrounded by Him. I sat there, knees to my chest with my head down. It was as if His chest was against my back and His arms wrapped around me so much that he reached for the soles of my feet and brought me into Himself further.

Tears just rolled down as I tried to take in what He was saying to me.

You are a true daughter of mine…I bled for you. You are flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. I love you…you don’t live in an orphanage, you live with me, in my house. I have prepared a place for you.

Who is this? Who is this magnificent, loving, sweet and precious person who says these things to me? With all the love and affection I felt at that moment, I just knew who it must be. My Father. It was My Father. Not carer, not hired, not only my provider…He is my Dad. My heavenly, perfect, Dad. Oh! If only we knew what His love looked like! We would stop acting like orphans! We would feel free to be ourselves, we would never feel stupid for asking things from Him, we wouldn’t feel silly for raising our hands in worship and praising Him! He wouldn’t feel embarrassed for speaking up for Him.

May you be wrapped up in His love today! May He show you in a way that is special that you are a true child of His. No longer orphaned, no longer lost. You are His…be freed up in that sweet truth!

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. –John 14:3

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. –John 14:18 

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Finding it hard to pray?

20130822-111736.jpgEver had that niggling feeling? Like there’s something you need to do, but you don’t want to? I have this experience a lot. Especially in the car with the radio on. Sometimes it’s just background noise to help drown out the thought going through my head… “Pray”. It’s just a thought. But, I don’t know about you but it takes so much strength to turn that radio off and even more strength to start speaking to Him.

I struggle to pray sometimes. However, even when I do finally muster up the courage to pray, I ask for things that are spiritual only. Believe me…that’s not because I’m over spiritual! I get scared to pray for something that I can actually have evidence of. Just in case He doesn’t come through. I don’t ask for things that require a dead-line, so that I don’t get disappointed if He doesn’t answer. When I do ask for something tangible… I feel stupid for even asking in the first place.

I was reading Daniel 9 this morning and I only got up to verse 4 because something stood out to me and I couldn’t ignore it…

“Darius, son of Ahasuerus, born a Mede, became king over the land of Babylon. In the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, was meditating on the Scriptures that gave, according to the Word of God to the prophet Jeremiah, the number of years that Jerusalem had to lie in ruins, namely, seventy. I turned to the Master God, asking for an answer—praying earnestly, fasting from meals, wearing rough penitential burlap, and kneeling in the ashes. I poured out my heart, baring my soul to God, my God: (Daniel 9:1-4 MSG)

If you didn’t get that…just read through it slowly. Honestly, this is crazy!
Daniel read the book of Jeremiah and when he understood from the text that the desolation of Jerusalem would last 70 years, he was filled with sorrow and he asked God for an answer.
Don’t you think that whatever is written in God’s word is pretty final? Set in stone? But even then, Daniel gets on his knees and prays to God.

Now that is faith! I wouldn’t even start…I’d feel stupid for even thinking I can talk to God about this. But what I’m starting to realise is ‘faith’ is based on God and God alone. It’s not on how good I’ve got things figured out. It comes down to how I see God and who I think He is.

When I was younger, there were some nights that I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t feel too well. In the middle of the night, I wouldn’t hesitate to go to my father and complain. I didn’t feel like I was being a burden, I didn’t feel like I was asking too much. I didn’t feel stupid! I was just being a daughter.

And when I opened his door and called to him… You know what his response was?

What is it, apple of my eye?

That was dad’s response every time. That’s my earthly father.

How much more?! I can’t even begin to explain. I’m not going to try. All I know is our God is loving and He cares for us.

Praying with ease comes when we get the right perception of God. He is loving, ready to give and shower us with good things. Things that are good for us.

So when your radio is on and you have a few moments out on the road…don’t be afraid to turn the radio off. Don’t be afraid to be His daughter or son…you are not a burden and you’re not asking too much. He waits for you to call on Him…He will answer…

What is it, apple of my eye?