I just want to watch you do what you do…

How I long to sit beside you, watching. Hoping you won’t notice me.

That I could just watch you do what you do.

I’d love to just watch you from the side, observing every outline of you. Watching your eyes blink and lashes flutter as you pray to your father. I’d love to watch your hair move with the wind as you stare out across the land and tear up with compassion for the people. I’d love to see the early morning sunrise kiss your face. Just don’t take notice of me.

I just want to watch you do what you do.

As crowds come from near and far to see what all the fuss is about and religious leaders come to watch you fall…

I want to watch you do what you do.

My gaze will follow you as you get down and write on the sand. I’ll watch you…and long to know your deepest thoughts. Don’t take notice of me.

I just want to watch you do what you do.

I want to watch you sigh and look up to heaven. Pleading for heaven’s healing to fall. I long to see the kindness in your eyes as you look upon sinners. I want to watch your arms reach to the sick, the dying, the poor and the leper. Not a shake, not an ounce of hesitation…just love acted out in strength. Don’t take notice of me just yet,

I just want to watch you do what you do.

I just want to be a witness of your service. I want to watch you get up out of your seat, wrap a towel around your waist and wash their feet. I want to watch you laugh, eat and share stories around the table with tax collectors.

I pray they would never take notice of me.

But teach me to do what you do so well. So when others see me…they would just sit and stare…seeing you instead.

Not wanting to be noticed,

but happy to sit and watch YOU do what you do.

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I guess you never know!

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I’m in my SUNDAY school room…on a FRIDAY!

Please understand, this is very uncommon for me. There is a lot of work to do for Kidz Club and I thought coming here, where all the resources are, would help me make some substantial progress.

Driving here gave me some time to think. I hate to admit it but all my thoughts weren’t mysterious or important to even begin reporting them to you. But ONE thought was…

What are we doing Kids outreach for? Is it to run a good program? To show the pastor I’m committed? …Seriously?

There are times when I’m working in children’s ministry and I just want to throw my hands up in the air in frustration (with a bunch of papers to add effect, of course). That’s when I know something has gone wrong in this head of mine. I forget the problems that kids face each day. I forget how God desires better for them. I forget how He saved me and loves me.

Physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglectful parents, putting up with bullying at school, wanting to belong… and if that wasn’t enough…trying to meet media’s standards for ‘cool’.

There is a God who loves them. A God who waits for them. A God who longs to free them in truth.

I can almost here children laughing, running around on luscious, green grass. The sun shining on their sweet faces. No tears, no pain. I can imagine children knowing God and being in love with Jesus. I’m in tears as I share with you my vision for children.

Sadly, kids still go through living in this sinful world. So…as much as I can, I will dedicate to showing kids who Jesus is and what He has done for them in love.
What’s the point of kids outreach? Program? I don’t think so! It’s for the gospel…so that the chains holding them now can fall off and they can live in freedom…knowing and loving God.
So, although I may never know the fruits of kids club, well…it’s so worth it. He’s so worth it. So I guess you’ll never know and that’s ok…